My Virginal Day Spa Experience in Ubud, Bali

  • Posted by Hap
  • in Bali

Ubud, Bali is where Mandy and I found ourselves at the start of our 3 week Bali trip.  Ubud is a cool little place in the mountains, cool cafes, heaps of arty stuff and its known for its Day Spas. 

So I decided to plunge into the world of Day spas, so cheap $10-$15 for a full body massage, scrub, exfoliating dealio, spice bath. Takes getting use to though, those of you that know me, know that |’m pretty modest when it comes to nudity, you don’t have to search far in my photos, but as I’m new to the Spa game I don’t really know the etiquette.  I was offered the choice between a man and female masseuse. Chose the female, for obvious reasons, having a dude rubbing could make for some awkward moments.  We’ll not sure whats worse, a male or a 15 year old girl?  Well she could of ranged from 12 to 20 years old, you never really know with these Asian women.  But when a girl that looks fifteen asks you to take off “everything”, wash yourself, and wait, you get a bit nervous, as to me everything means “everything”, but then you wonder, ‘she doesn’t speak very good english, maybe “everything” means your clothes but keep on underwear, the last thing you want is this innocent little girl coming back into the room screaming in shock that this foreigner is waiting naked, and then the next thing you know my face is on the international news as being a paedophile and I’m facing the Balinese firing squad.

Anyway, long story short, “everything” does mean everything, although you do get a face cloth sized sarong to cover you, it basically gets thrown around like a Matador’s cape and discarded. And yes you feel really relaxed AFTER your full body massage with a 15 year old. Why? Because being a male -or being me- the male mind is suppose to think about sex every minute, so you can imagine that when you try to relax, ie you picture yourself on a quiet golden sand beach, it isn’t long before Hugh Hefners boat is shipwrecked on the beach etc etc etc. Then you come back to reality and realise that your in Ubud, Bali getting a massage from a 15 year old, and not one of Hugh’s Bunnies on a desserted beach!  So yes, you feel really relaxed AFTER the massage as you can let your mind fully relax and go on its merry way!

 The following day both Mandy and I had a couples spa at a different place, we were also given plastic “panties”, which basically looked like nappies. So was quite relaxing having Mandy there and being kept under wraps allowing for full relaxation. It was a great setting, looking out over rice paddy fields as the sun went down, eating fruit dipped in sweet dipping sauce.  I handed Mandy one of the pieces of fruit dipped in sauce, only to have her cough it up and inform me that it was not dipping sauce, but rather body lotion, hahaha, good tasting body lotion though.

But all in all, a great time, and I’m looking forward to round 3 of Day spa, and I’m looking forward to it now that I know the ins and outs. ahh what a life.

Off tomorrow to some islands, the Gilli islands, where we will do our open water dive course, so looking forward to getting in the water, and having a reason to get out of bed.

Nuthin but love hap